If you are currently going through difficult times like a breakup or things just don´t seem to go well for you, and your days feel a little dark and heavy and you feel left behind by life, it can be pretty challenging or frustrating to see all the shiny happy people, couples and families on social media and in real life. I totally get it. I´ve been there more than once in my life.
Here are some thoughts, ideas, and tips that might help you navigate these times with greater ease.
1. Remember that this too shall pass.
2. Know and remember that life works in waves. Every period of darkness is followed by a period of light. Times of contraction are followed by times of expansion. Every ending is also a new beginning. After every setback come new possibilities. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom in order to reinvent ourselves.
3. Find 3 things you can be grateful for every day. These can be little things like a ray of light that comes briefly through the dark December sky, the friendly smile of a neighbour or the guy at the coffee shop or someone opening a door for you. Or the big things we take for granted so often like a roof over our head, our warm, cosy bed, food and water. Be grateful for who you are, for who can become and for the blessings and choices you actually do have. Feel the gratitude in your heart and then let it expand to your whole chest, upper body and arms until you feel it in every cell.
4. Remember the challenges you have already overcome and how they have transformed you and helped you evolve. Remember the good times and opportunities you already have had and trust that you will have them again.
5. Make self-love and self-care a priority. Check in with yourself first thing in the morning and various times throughout the day by asking yourself “What do I need most right now”? And then give it to yourself as much as you can.
6. Cultivate meaningful relationships. Reach out to the people you actually do have in your life. If there is an old friend you haven´t spoken with for what feels like ages, now is the time to get in touch again. Organise a get-together with friends even if you feel like hiding from the world.
7. Move your body in ways you enjoy. Our physiology impacts our psychology. Moving our body changes how we think, feel and believe. The fastest way to get out of a funk is to actually MOVE THAT BODY!
8. De-clutter your home. Get the junk out of your living environment. Everything has energy. If you have stuff in your house that doesn´t serve you or that you don´t like, you´re better off without it. Decorate your house in a way that makes you feel safe and at home.
9. Focus on what this breakup / challenge / difficult time is teaching you. Maybe as a result of this you are becoming a more patient, wiser, kinder person and it´s more than worthwhile honouring it and focusing on this rather than on the challenge. More times than not, our lowest and darkest moments are our most significant catalysts to our greatest transformation.
10. Laugh more. Give yourself breaks from worrying / feeling frustrated / grieving by watching comedy, going to a laughter yoga class, doing something silly with girlfriends – or whatever makes you love.
11. Always have one eye on your vision of the life you want to live and the person you want to be. Take at least one small step (better 3) every day that moves you towards your vision. Be consistent with your action – even if you don´t feel like it.
12. Trust that life is giving you exactly what you need practice in and love yourself all the way through. Every challenge has the potential to transform us in a profound way – if we allow it. Sometimes it requires us to feel alone for a while and draw on our inner strengths and
13. Be open to the idea that you´ve signed up for your soul path of this lifetime – with all its challenges and mess and all its beauty.